Example

The Ethical Will of (Name Protected)

Dear Husband A and Children E, D and W,

It has been the greatest pleasure of my life to be married to A, and mother to you, my beloved three children. As I write this, I’ve reached 45 years old, and I expect to live for many more years. However, if that is not the case, I want to communicate a few thoughts about what it has meant to create this life with you, and what I hope for in leaving you.

My marriage to – and love for – my husband, your dad, A, has been a miraculous, exhilarating, creative experience. Mutual respect has grounded it, and encouragement and support have allowed each of us to pursue our dreams. Miracles? My three children! My wish for you, my darlings, is that you find partners in life who are all in. Your father is my cheerleader, and I, his. We each made, and will continue to make, concessions and sacrifices to ensure the other felt supported and appreciated.

As you know, dad and I are “die-hard liberals”! We believe in and contribute to liberal causes. We march, we write letters and make calls, we volunteer. We believe health care is a right and not a privilege. We believe in helping people who need a leg up. I can’t control outside influences that may appeal to you more than our philosophies, but always remember to love your fellow humans, and BE KIND and POLITE to people. Kindness goes a long way. Help people across the street, carry your older neighbor’s groceries, help tourists with the Metro cards, and treat people with respect no matter if they’re wearing Gucci loafers or rags on their feet. Being kind will help you grow in your personal relationships more than you will ever know. Small things.

I hope you continue to use good manners. Please continue your studies and practice of other languages. Knowing at least one other language in addition to English will open the world up to you. It enriches your life, takes away fear of “the other” and helps a lot when people ask for directions on the street. I’m sure you’ve seen me pantomiming “one more avenue and go left” to a Chinese or Russian speaking person when they show me a piece of paper. Since I don’t speak those languages, you might have wondered what I was doing trying to communicate in a language I didn’t know. But speaking French and Spanish, as I do, makes me bold. Trust me on this one.

Please read books. I don’t care if you read on a Kindle. Just please read books. As with languages, worlds will open for you.

Take care of each other, and your father, if I pre-decease him. And A, I won’t be upset if you start dating, and kids – don’t give him a rough time. He deserves to be happy, whether thatmeans being alone or finding love again. He knows how great it is to be in love and partnership.

My worldly goods will be left to A, and if he pre-deceases me, when I die they will be distributed legally among our children through our family trust. I have some special gifts I’ve earmarked for each one of you, as well.

I wish to be buried in the earth in a green burial, wrapped in a biodegradable sack. No casket, no embalming, no cremation. I have made these arrangements already and they are outlined in my end of life directives.

So that’s it, all my darlings. Continue on with kindness, generosity of spirit, love, respect for each other and others, and respect for the environment. I have loved you all more than you can ever know. Be good humans, please.

-Love,

Mom

L.A. 2019